You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else. — Daniel Franzese (via durianquotes)
Here’s a picture of me in this moment- ashamed/face-palming, “husky,” and ridiculously hairy. Yerp.
Past few months have just been…terrible? I attempted to go to the gym a couple of times, eat healthy for a couple days at a time- off and on, sans consistency whatsoever. Try as I might to come up with valid excuses, there just aren’t any. And that’s neither here nor there, because let’s face it- this is just deja vu, except this scene has been playing itself over and over for the past couple of years…and pretty much all the other years before that.
But here’s the thing, I turned 25 last month and I have vowed to myself and sworn up and down that this was going to be the year that I successfully became the best version of myself. It’s taken me too many weeks since then to finally pull my head out of the sand and turn a blind eye to how ashamed I am that I haven’t made the most of the time and opportunities I had to get my health in check. Anyone would assume that it’s because I don’t care enough about myself, but I swear I do. I’ve made so many changes in my life since October to be that better version and in all honesty, this has been the one that I have most struggled with. Interestingly, this is the one I need the most.
So in short. I’m going to get back on the
horse polar bear and give this my all- give healthy my all.
I just…this speaks to me. It really does.
In the house.
Day 1 again.
Eating clean attempt #90989834.
Back to the drawing board.
I don’t even know when I got this old. It must have been while I was sleeping through my teens/early twenties.
Who’s being an asshole right now fitness-wise? I am!
Who’s going to the Dominican Republic at the end of June and needs to stop being an asshole fitness-wise? I am/do!
Okay. I know. This is purely shallow bullshit but I need a physical motivator to get me mentally right. Is this crappy backwards thinking? Probably. But I think I totes need this right now. So, I’m challenging myself to a junk-free April. Which I hope to turn into a junk-free May, and so on.
So as I mark my calendar for June 28th, it’s time to get down to business. I’ve never had any type of “deadline” dates for progress, and this isn’t a shed-all-the-weight date because…no, that’s not realistic. But I’m going to focus on slimming down and feeling/looking better in my clothes, period. End of. Fin.
There may come a time, in the near future, when you begin to fear that you have accidentally wasted your entire 20s.
This revelation may be arrived at in a dramatic fashion — say, just for fun, that you woke up the day after your 30th birthday with toothpaste in your hair, inside an empty apartment that you don’t recognize, which the note on the front table suggests is owned by someone who calls himself “Waxy Dave.” That could lead to some self-evaluation.